THE B-SIDE

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Okay okay okay, you’ve heard all of this stuff about ’emotional instability’ and ‘impulsivity’ and ‘highly sensitive’…

Heck, you’ve probably even heard Dr. Marsha Linehan liken individuals with BPD to ‘third degree burn victims, with no emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement’. It’s not sounding very nice is it…

Well have no fear, dear friend, as there is a bright side to all of this. There are actually positives to having borderline personality disorder. If you’re anything like me, you were probably outraged and disgusted upon reading those words. I know, in all my years I too have remained steadily staring into my half empty glass and mourning a life lost to something I can’t control.

Many people have tried to comfort me by telling me that I am normal. That I’m not broken, or flawed. But no one really understood BPD enough to tell me that I could actually be a good person because of it.

So here goes, sweet friend, I lay before you some really nice things about having BPD.

Not all will apply to you, nothing ever fits perfectly. But I hope you find something here you can resonate with.

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You feel the lowest lows, and you feel the highest highs. You feel and have felt so much more than people without BPD could ever hope to feel. You love harder and fall harder than other people. You experience life to the fullest.

You are intensely passionate. Once you find something that interests you, you are filled with a burning desire to not just do, but be.

You are an individual. You are weird, you are unusual, your interests and hobbies and ideas are all unique to you. You wear what you like, act how you feel, and present yourself to the world as a complete individual.

You are spontaneous. Your impulsive nature means that you are free. You get a thought or idea and you run as far and as fast as you can with it, while other people only dream of running.

You are curious. You want to know about everything and anything. How and most importantly Why. You have dived into many hundreds of different interests in your life because of this, while others are satisfied doing only one thing for the rest of their lives.

You are insightful. You have had countless moments of pain in your life, and you can look back on these and draw from them. Which leads on to…

…You are empathetic and compassionate. Despite the stigmatising notion that “people with BPD have no empathy for those around them” it is actually more along the lines of people with BPD have so much empathy that they do not know what to do with it. No one is more upset with themselves after they’ve hurt someone else than you. Plus, you have been through terrible pain yourself, which in turn means that you know, to a larger extent than a stranger, what someone else with BPD is going through.

Lastly, you are creative. You are talented. You strive to place a deeper meaning into your art or craft despite the fact that you can find none in yourself. That, in itself, is a great achievement.

 

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