23 – LONDON – ILLUSTRATOR – STORYTELLER
Hello sweet friend, and welcome! I’m glad you made it!
Here you will find a bit of my background, and how I ended up creating this site.
I blundered through my teenage years in a chaotic, internal mess of depression, self-harm and suicidal ideation; only to suddenly find myself exposed and confused in the midst of a university degree and the death-throes of a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.
Diagnosed in the winter of 2013, I was promptly thrown head-first into the tumultuous waters to fend for myself, sans life raft. I saw a counsellor through the university for a while, before adding a mental health advisor, a referral to the community mental health team and the crisis team to my arsenal. There I remained in limbo, shunted between various professionals, with seemingly no one interested in helping but simply passing me on to the next support team.
Initially I was relieved, as many people are, to have a name for everything I was experiencing. I spent hundreds of late nights scouring the internet and the library for any resources I could find that would benefit me. I thought, “Now that I know what I’m dealing with, I can begin to get better.”
However, upon leaving university I was soon confronted with the crushing reality of a diagnosis like mine. BPD is one of the most heavily stigmatised and misunderstood mental health conditions, not only in the general populace, but stigma is prevalent amongst mental health professionals as well.
Accessing help has been a major hurdle in my journey towards recovery. After university I saw a short-term counsellor through my employer, and after that I was only having 6 weekly meetings with the CMHT in my town. I remained without a solid means of support for just under a year. Eventually I was referred to an extremely helpful 10 week course in ‘Managing Emotions’; whilst not strictly DBT therapy, it combined elements of this and mindfulness practice to build up a toolbox of skills.
Whilst battling my way through the daily struggles and huge life issues that come with BPD, I have come to realise that there needs to be more awareness for this disorder in order to help prevent others from going through what I have experienced in the way of stigma from others and mental health professionals alike.
This blog is dedicated to providing the curious individual, the newly diagnosed or the uninformed anyone, with information regarding BPD. I hope to possibly shed some light on what living with BPD is like, and give people a wider understanding of this complex and confusing disorder.
This blog will run informational posts and helpful tips and resources, but will also contain journal posts from my own experiences, hopefully to add a touch of humanity!
Thank you for reading, dear friend
I have been accepted onto the 2017 Mental Health Writer’s Guild as a Member Blog!
‘A community of authors and bloggers who have a heart for Mental Health’